Oops … I did it again
I took a look at my closet this morning. And, while fully Marie Kondo’d, it’s overflowing. Again. It’s only two years since my daughter and I decided to down-size, selling and donating anything that didn’t give us joy for the benefit of For The Gworls.
(This is where you take a breath, follow the link, and give a li’l something).
It’s not that I buy a lot of clothes. I actually don’t. But I make something new almost every week. I love the process of dreaming up profiles, “shopping” for fabric in my scrap closet, and figuring out how to get it done. The result is not always what I wanted, but the dream delivers. Every single time.
Thing is, I do the same in my life generally. A month or two ago, I felt like there was almost too much “space.” I felt empty, unchallenged, and (yes) even bored. And just this morning, as I was telling my spouse that I was starting to feel a bit stressed, I realized that I had done it again: filled my life to the brim. Struggling slightly with the time-Tetris of it all. It’s not the first time.
I’m older. I don’t overfill my life to the point of breakage anymore. I am comfortable saying no, and I frequently do. Every single part of what is taking up space right now is wanted. Something I imagined and then did. Part of the dream, you might say.
And yet, I know I must pay attention to not get overwhelmed and to actually only do the things I want to do. I know how to do it, but it is one more thing that I must do. Today, it looked like mapping out the week ahead. Tomorrow, it will look like cooking a delicious dinner I planned out today. The day after, it might look like swimming, or advancing in my life guarding course. Every day, it requires at least 20 minutes of stillness and silence. Much like my closet requires me to keep folding and refolding the clothes I imagined and made.
My life is full. My heart is fuller. I think I am coming to the realization that there really is nothing wrong with that. As long as I am truly in it. And to do that, I need to sit.
