In which I reclaim my time

Yesterday, as I was resting in savasana after my daily practice, my mind wandered to the 1990s. Not so much because of the specific context of that decade as because it seemed like a time with a lot of change for me personally.

I started the decade living in Denmark, single, studying political science, and by the time it was over, I had done a master’s degree in management, worked several years in advertising, moved country 5 times and continent twice, married and divorced, and was back to doing political work, living in Washington DC.

Ten years don’t feel like a lot of time to do all that.

I thought about it yesterday because time has a different quality now it seems. As I am decidedly past the halfway point of this lifetime, time feels less expansive, less infinite, and by the same token, calmer, more deliberate, more real. There is little I feel I must do or reach or accomplish other than what is right now. There is peace.

But time, of course, is just time.

Like so many other things we take for granted in today’s world, the measuring of time in hours and days has not always been a thing. To be honest, we do it mostly for the sake of capitalism: we need to be able to tell our employer how long we worked, and therefore how much are we worth. This other sense of time — settled and peaceful — is not on my watch or in the calendar. It is invaluable. It is 100% truly mine.

With age, I am reclaiming my time.