Lifeguarding, yoga, and opting in
This weekend, I re-certified as a lifeguard. I had let my prior certification lapse, so I had to re-do the full course rather than the shorter recertification. Fortunately we were several friends in the same situation, and so we had more fun that we otherwise would have had, and we most certainly had an easier time trusting each other than we would strangers.
But it wasn’t camaraderie that helped me pass the course. It was yoga.
If you have ever looked into becoming a lifeguard, you’ll know that there is a physical test you have to pass before you even try to do any rescues. It’s about swimming and treading water — not a problem for me — and then there is a timed portion where you dive for a heavy object and bring it back before the clock runs out. You get two tries.
Even writing this out is giving me anxiety. It’s not that I can’t do each individual element, it’s that I don’t react well to racing against the clock to do anything. The moment something is timed, my heart starts racing and my breath becomes irregular. It’s hard to quiet down the mind and steady the hands.
In this case, I got so nervous that I dropped the heavy object several times, re-dove, and then had to give up for lack of breath. On the second try, I was on track to do the exact same thing: irregular breath, shaking hands, bopping in and out of the water and swallowing much too much of it. I thought, maybe I better just let it go now.
And then something changed in my head: I thought of yoga.
Yoga is for every body. I truly believe that. But as my teacher Jason Crandell routinely says: not every yoga pose is for everybody all the time. Or ever, really. He also says: you are free to modify, but you are not free to opt out. Meaning, whatever you do, whether it is flying crow or child’s pose, you are present, breathing, in your practice. You do not give up. You listen to your body, work to your own edge, and do your absolute best to be present, conscious, and aware. Every time. All the time.
That’s what I thought of as I was struggling for breath and still a full pool length out. I thought, it is ok if I can’t do this. I am present, I am in my practice, and I will work to my edge. If doing all that, I am too slow, it will not be because I opted out. It will just be like flying crow and dragonfly and full or half lotus. Not things my body ever needs to do.
So I held onto the brick, kicked like crazy, and made it back in plenty of time. As I exited the pool, one of the instructors told me animatedly: “That was SICK!” And I thought. No. Not really. That was yoga.
