It’s hard not to get lost in the grind.

A few of you will know that I used to design a clothing line, or maybe more of a textile line: Kær Brooklyn.

The work was born out of frustration. I had a job I couldn’t thrive in and felt deeply separate from everything that made me happy: connection and creation, spaciousness and simplicity. Everything that nature is and does.

I started by just printing nature shots on fabric-coupons and making throw-pillows, table-linens, and t-shirts. Then I moved on to manipulating the photos and creating rolls of fabric and from there, apparel. There really wasn’t a plan, though the work brought everything I lacked in my day-job with it. At its best, it was just pure joy, and our collaborations emanated with it (see the photo accompanying this post, from one of our most joyous shoots).

Gradually, however, and without really realizing, I lost the spaciousness and simplicity. I got caught up in the “rules” of the fashion-business, and the need to make Kær successful in some traditional sense, notably by making money. Whenever I was creating something new, I thought more about the ability to replicate and price it, than the creation itself. Needless to say, the alienation I had been seeking to overcome through Kær soon permeated it as well.

I have been reflecting on this evolution this week. On the ego I had invested in “success.” On the way roles and rules of various processes are just there waiting for you to get caught up in, if you don’t take the time to feel into yourself along the way. I can’t say that this won’t happen again. But I can say that my joy of creation with fabric is coming back.

Next up: Saturday 9am EST, then Wednesday 12:30pm EST. Check the schedule for more time zones and flows!